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A BIRTH, A WEDDING AND A DEATH

Rilee Grace

Born Sept. 6

with her Daddy

Dear All,

This edition of my blog is so very hard to begin - I have no idea where to start.............so much joy........so much sadness in my life right now.

A BIRTH

I think I shall begin with the joy! I am so happy to tell you all the my darling little granddaughter - Rilee Grace has arrived. She was born on Sept. 6 (her due date), weighing 7lb 9oz and 19 and 1/4 inches in length.

Rilee at 5 days

With Aunty Kelly

in the NICU

After much drama and anxiety, she was released from hospital some 5 days later, but was still under the care of health care nurses until Sunday when she received her final injection. She was checked out by a pediatrician yesterday and received a clean bill of health. She is however, to have another check up on Friday (just as a precaution), at which time, we expect her to receive another clean bill of health.

Erin too was very ill after the birth, and gave us all grave cause for concern, but she too is now well on the way to recovery and was released on Friday night also.

My beautiful grand-daughter will feature in this blog, along with my beautiful grandson, often enough to bore you all too tears! I will make no apology for this - it is my right and I intend to exercise that right unto the fullest!

A WEDDING

Another wonderful piece of news is that Damien was married on September 11th in London to Anna. Damien could not have made a better choice - Anna is as beautiful on the outside (as the photos will show), as she is on the inside. I am so very happy that she is now my daughter-in-law!!! Damien and Anna's wedding was small, intimate and just perfect from all accounts. Obviously, I wish, along with Kelly and Erin that we could have been there to share in this special day. We will all celebrate this wonderful union when Damien, Anna and Lauren join us for Christmas.

On that note, I am also very excited to tell you that on September 3rd, Damien and Anna had an interview with immigration who granted them a 10 year open visa to visit us here as often as they wish. Kelly, Nate, Erin, Chris, Jim and I, certainly celebrated that news on that day.

I have lots more beautiful wedding photos at the end of this blog.

Signed & Sealed.

The two sisters (Damien's & Anna's)

A TRAGIC, SUDDEN DEATH

Late in the day on September 1st, Jim and I began our journey to Atlanta. It was to be a long weekend for Jim as he had the Friday and Monday off work. Although we were travelling on his working days, he was armed with his cell phone and lap top and was able to conduct business as usual. We did stop overnight on our way, arriving in Atlanta on Thursday.

Our journey was such fun, we laughed, joked, sang, talked about our dreams, planned our future as we travelled. On arrival in Atlanta, we shared some very special times with Kelly, Nate, Kyler, Chris and Erin. It seems that children loved Jim and Kyler ditched his Nana (poor me), to play with or to sit on Jim's lap when we babysat.

Erin went into labour on Sunday afternoon, and Kelly and I went to the hospital after dinner to spend a few hours with her, before returning home around mid-night. Jim and Nate waited up for us. Jim and I chatted for awhile and went to bed. I got up around 4am to message the hospital and check on Erin's progress. Jim heard me up and came and joined me for a little while. Erin's progress had stalled, so we both went back to bed. Jim was restless and suffering from heartburn, but finally went to sleep.

Kelly woke me around 5.15 to say, that Chris had called and to get to the hospital asap. I told Jim what I was doing (he was staying with Nate and Kyler and was to join us later after the birth). After showering and changing, I went to kiss Jim goodbye, but he was sleeping, and I didnt want to wake him.

When Rilee was born, I called Jim a couple of times to share the joy, but his phone went unanswered. I was not concerned as we hadn't had much sleep. However, when Nate was preparing to come to the hospital, I asked him to wake Jim as I knew he wanted to come and see the baby before flying home later that day.
Kelly then got a call from Nate saying to come home - Jim was unresponsive and he had called 911. Kelly drove me home and the paramedics told me Jim had died. Kelly knew this as she was driving me home, but she didnt want to tell me then. Nate had attempted CPR as had the paramedics, but it was unsuccessful. The shock and horror of this moment cannot be described. The time frame is a bit of a blur, but it was soon after this news, that we received a call to get to the hospital urgently. A Rapid Response had been called on Erin and her condition was serious and unstable. Rilee had also been rushed to the ICU.

Kelly and Nate rushed straight back to the hospital and I stayed with Jim, the police and paramedics whilst waiting for the medical examiner to arrive. My memory is a bit blurry and I think that with the assistance of the police it is at this time, that I broke the tragic news to his family.

After the respectful removal of Jim's body, I went back to the hospital (Nate came and got me) to visit with Erin who was in ICU. As her condition was not yet stable, I was not allowed to inform her of Jim's death. How we all carried this off, I do not know. She thought our condition was due to concern over her and the baby (it was in part), and she was heavily drugged.

It was not until the next afternoon when she was stable, that we were able to tell her and then I was able to fly back to Michigan that night.

The next few days were largely spent with Jim's warm, loving family and my wonderful "Delton Family" (very close friends).

Jim's visitation was held on Friday night and although very difficult for everyone who loved him, it was also very comforting for me to meet so many of his friends, who told me some wonderful stories about this great man.

Saturday morning there was another visitation before his funeral service. After which a luncheon was held and then, I accompanied his family to the graveside.

Jim had 3 daughters and a son, and 10 grandchildren. His mother, his step-father, 3 brothers and a sister, 3 sisters-in-law and many neices and nephews. His family is close and supportive and loving and reminds me very much of my family in Australia. I will always be very grateful that they embraced me and held me close during this very difficult time.

I write about this in such detail, as so many people have questions regarding his sudden death. It is very difficult to retell this story constantly, yet I understand why his many dear friends have a need to know.

For those of you who were unaware. Jim surprised me one evening with a proposal and a beautiful ring. I accepted his proposal at that time, but I did tell him, I wanted to wait awhile to announce it, as I wanted him to meet the children first. It seems that Jim did announce it to some special colleagues and friends anyway. :) Needless to say when I returned from Atlanta, I took the ring from the drawer and am now wearing it very proudly, but very sadly.

My tribute to Jim

Life with Jim was never dull - we laughed together on our first date and our laughter continued until the day he died.

Our first date was supposed to be for just lunch, but neither of us wanted it to end, so we saw a movie, had coffee, then dinner, then coffee and chatted for hours - finally finishing with a phone conversation when we arrived home, finishing at 3 am and meeting up again at 9am the next day. The next day also consisted of lunch and dinner - we didn't want to be apart and it remained that way with us deciding that life is a gift and we would not waste a day by being apart unless we really had too - today, I am so grateful that we made that decision.

On our second or third date, I could not finish my meal......I said, that was lovely, but I can't finish it". Jim replied with a straight face - "I am paying for it - you will sit at the table til it is all gone". I looked at him in dismay and then he added "you will take it orally, or anally - the choice is yours". I so loved his humour.

One night Jim saved me from a bat. I screamed, he ran up the stairs and said "open the doors, turn on the outside lights, turn off the inside lights". I did as I was instructed within a few minutes, the bat after having flown over my head several time, finally flew out the door to the lights. Jim said "run and shut all the doors". Again I did as I was instructed and he said "there, I saved you, give your hero a big thank you kiss". He had merely stood at the top of the stairs giving instructions and when I realised this, he turned and said "we all learn from experience - next time, I won't even have to run up the stairs".

I cannot hold a tune and my voice is torture to the ears, yet Jim would turn the music on when we were in the car and say "come on baby - sing to me". I would sing out loud while he sat and laughed. No-one else in this entire world lets me sing outside the shower!

Mr. Security as I called him, was horrified that I couldn't find a key to my house and that I left doors open and that half of the town had the code to get into the garage and the house. This concerned him greatly. Obviously, that all changed under his watch - codes are now changed, keys found and doors and windows are locked. I shall try very hard to stick to his rigid rules and I do hope that one day, I will remember the new codes.

I finally got the opportunity to introduce Jim to Kelly & Erin (two of my daughters) and sons-in-law, just days before he died. I was told on day 2 that they had taken a poll and that they all loved him too and that I was allowed to keep him!

Jim was kind, thoughtful, caring, perceptive and so very, very witty. He made me laugh, he made my heart sing and he melted me with his smile. He made me go weak in the knees when he kissed me or held my hand. Every day I spent with Jim was a joy to live and the thought of my tomorrows with Jim filled me with eager anticipation. To grow old with Jim was my dream. He was supposed to be my forever man.

In the blink of an eye it all ended - Jim is now in a far better place and I am left here with a broken heart. I know though that it will mend and I will remember him without tears and heartache. However, my love for him will endure - he is in my heart forever. The pain of losing him, though seemingly unbearable, is still a price I would pay again for the joy of knowing and loving him and having him love me.

Jim was a father, a grandfather a son, a brother, an uncle, a nephew and friend to many. I have included at the end of this blog, more photos of Jim and his family for those of you who wish to see them.

There is a photo of Jim's eldest daughter Kristi with her two boys Brady and Tyler saying goodbye. Several photos of Jim with his darling grandchildren. His four children - Shawn, Kari, Kristi and Stephanie. One with my daughter Kelly and one with his friend in much happier times.

So happy.

So beautiful

London even turned on the sunshine for this wedding!